Most perpetrators of gender-based violence tend to struggle controlling their emotions particularly anger and instead of resolving conflicts calmly they lash out verbally, emotionally, or physically at their partners – Women Against Rape (WAR) director Peggy Ramaphane has said.
Speaking during a Walk against Gender Based Violence event organised by the United Congregational Church of Southern Africa (UCCSA) Maun branch recently, Ramaphane said emotional and poor anger management have been increasingly linked to violent outbursts in intimate relationships, especially where communication has broken down.
She said households where anger is not addressed in a healthy way, arguments can easily escalate into violence. “Some individuals were never taught how to express frustration safely. Instead, they use force or intimidation, believing it proves strength,” said Ramaphane.
For her part, Chairperson of the UCCSA Women’s Wing in Maun, Mosadigape Libalangwe, pointed to factors such as unresolved anger, poor communication in relationships, alcohol abuse and drugs as major contributors to violence in homes. She emphasised that many people, especially men, are not taught how to deal with frustration in healthy ways, leading to emotional outbursts that turn violent.
“Some of the abuse we see today stems from bottled-up anger and lack of emotional control,” she said. “People are carrying deep pain and projecting it onto their loved ones.”
She also highlighted economic stress, jealousy, and cultural norms that discourage women from speaking out, as conditions that allow abuse to thrive. Libalangwe stressed the role of the church in educating couples about peaceful conflict resolution and emotional discipline.
She urged both men and women to seek counselling, adding that true healing can only begin when families break the silence around GBV and confront the issues at their core.
Emmanuel Mozingwane, a representative of the Civil Aviation Authority of Botswana (CAAB) Men’s Sector formed under the theme “Men Stand Up,” urged men to reflect on their role in ending GBV.
“Love the next person just as you love yourself. Remove anger from your hearts and do not relieve your stress onto others,” he said.
Mozingwane stressed that change must start from within, and that men should lead by example in creating peaceful homes and communities. He further stated that breaking the cycle of GBV requires a united effort beginning with awareness, empathy, controlling anger, and the courage to unlearn toxic behavior.
